May
15
2009

The cocaine in Spain falls mostly on the plains: Friday drugstravaganza!

It's Barcelona...: But it's like I can see through the buildings to their real colors.Courtesy MorBCNIt’s Friday again, Buzzketeers, and you know what that sometimes means.
Yes, it means I may put on drag and take a jog out to the Walgreen’s.
Yes, it means that as soon as the sun sets, I’ll probably go down to the river and scream at the mer-people.
Sure, it means that I might leave work early, so I can go up on my roof and get some extra time in working on my flying eagle costume.
But more than any of that, it sometimes means that it’s time for an Extravaganza!
I know, right? Hoorays all around!
To be more specific, today’s extravaganza is a drugstravaganza. And to be even more specific, it’s a Euro illicit drugstravaganza. Better grab yourself some glowsticks!
Check it out: Spanish scientists have found that the air in Madrid and Barcelona is laced with illegal drugs. In addition to regular old city air-pollutants, the air-quality control stations discovered cocaine, amphetamines, LSD, opiates, and marijuana floating around in the cities’ air. The researchers hasten to point out, however, that these drugs were only found in trace amounts, and that you couldn’t absorb nearly enough to have a noticeable effect even in a lifetime’s worth of breathing. I think, however, that this might just be an attempt to discourage a flood of people who are both drug users and freeloaders from coming into Spain.
The scientists also pointed out that one of the testing stations was located near “a ruined building believed to be frequented by drug dealers” (in English: a “crackhouse”), and that both stations were located near universities, which we all know to be hotbeds of illegal activity. The study was even able to determine that drug levels in the air were higher (ah ha) on weekends, suggesting that local drug use was up on these days. It’s like when your mom smells your jacket for cigarette smoke… only instead it’s your government smelling your neighborhood for coke. (Except I don’t think these scientists were looking to get anyone grounded.)
And then there’s this little item: The Case of the Wandering Trip-fish. Apparently a some British fishermen recently netted a species of bream that causes frightening visual and auditory hallucinations when eaten. (I guess the fishes’ heads, in particular, are pretty hallucination inducing.) The fact that the fish makes people trip isn’t news—in 2006 two men in France were hospitalized after eating the fish, suffering hallucinations for two days, and supposedly this type of bream was consumed as a recreational drug in the Mediterranean region during the Roman Empire. What’s more remarkable is that this is a typically a Mediterranean fish, and it was caught near England. That is to say, it’s a warm water fish, and it was caught in what should be cold water. Its presence near England could be a fluke, but some scientists see it as further evidence of global warming, that colder waters are warming up, and exotic species may be moving it. None of us mind new neighbors, certainly, but we don’t like it when they bring drugs into the neighborhood.
So… I know this isn’t a very extravagant extravaganza, but we’re dealing with sensitive issues here (global warming, duh) so I think I better cut this one short. Plus, I want to get working on my eagle costume.
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